Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links, which means commissions are earned for qualifying purchases made through links in this post. Read more about this on my Disclaimer Policy.
Yes, my friend. We’re here to discuss the benefits of using sex toys with your partner. But wait, don’t run away! There is SO much to gain from reading this post, all you have to go is open your mind a bit.
Contrary to popular belief, using sex toys with your partner does not mean A) that they, or you, are terrible in bed. B) they will replace your partner by any means and, C) THEY ARE ONLY FOR SINGLE PEOPLE.
It’s 2020, people. It’s high time that we kick the false information and flat out lies about sex, and sex toys, out the window, and start embracing our sexual health and sex lives! Because the simple fact is; sex isn’t going away.
Yes, using a sex toy with your partner is REAL sex. It’s not a machine. It’s an aid to bring forth pleasure & to bring out the best sexual experience possible! Yet, there’s so much more.
This is why I am sharing 7 Exciting and Amazing benefits to using sex toys with your partner. Spoiler alert: it’s about more than just sex.
You May Also Like: Why You Should Be Talking About Sex With Your Partner
7 Exciting and Amazing Benefits of Using Sex Toys With Your Partner
It’s Starts the Discussion
Before you get into the discussion with your partner, you should first and foremost, be talking, or have talked, about preventive measures for STI’s, pregnancy, and monogamy. Look out for #1!
That being said, once you take that first step and discuss using sex toys together, it kicks off a discussion about your likes, dislikes, and fantasies. These conversations aren’t easy to have at first, I completely understand that; I’ve been there. You don’t know how they’re going to react, what they’re going to say, hell, if they’re going to judge you; and that is pretty scary! But, once the conversation happens, it’s such a relief, trust me!
Even if your partner is reluctant, or flat out against it, you at least know where you stand on the subject. At the end of the day, being on the same page with your partner about sex is crucial, so the discussion needs to happen regardless.
Want some tips on how to communicate with your partner about sex? My FREE email guide has tips and what NOT to say. Get it now!
You Learn to Communicate Better
This is similar to the above point, but just a tad different. In addition to starting the discussion about the use of sex toys, it creates an open line of communication with your partner about everything as it relates to your sex life; and MORE. Because once that dam is broken, flood gates open!
More, how, you say? Well, you may gain confidence in directing your partner on where to touch you, how to touch you and be more open about sharing your fantasies. You may (I won’t guarantee, because everyone is different) get comfortable enough to masturbate in front of them; using sex toys or not, that’s up to you!
But the most important part of opening the lines of communication, you are able to talk about anything. Sex is such a hard topic to start talking about, but so fulfilling when you do. If you can talk about the most intimate moments, surely you can open up and talk about anything!
Creates a Deeper Level of Intimacy
Is sex intimate? Yes. Can you have Intimacy without sex? Also yes.
What I can’t stress enough is that intimacy =/= sex. Intimacy doesn’t have to be sexual in nature. As a matter of fact, some of the most intimate moments I’ve had with my partner aren’t sexual at all, but rather, on a deeper spiritual, intellectual, and emotional level.
There are varying degrees of intimacy. Emotional intimacy; where you feel loved, secure, and happy in your relationship. Emotional intimacy takes the most time and effort to fully develop and is one that needs to be continuously worked on. Intellectual Intimacy; challenging each other and being able to understand, support, and listen to each other about intellectual discussions and topics.
Experiential Intimacy, which is the form of doing, not saying. Being present yes, but also to share common goals and endeavors. Physical Intimacy, of course, is touching, massaging, and yes, SEX. But again, goes deeper than sex. Dancing, cuddling, holding hands while on a walk, even working out together, are all forms of physical intimacy.
Lastly, there’s Spiritual Intimacy; which isn’t just about sharing the same beliefs, but also accepting your partner’s beliefs and giving them space, as well as giving your support as well, and allowing them to opportunity for growth on their own spiritual journey.
Are you wondering how sex toys create a deeper form of intimacy? Because opening up oneself completely about their desires, fantasies, wants and needs, opens up the gates for a deeper emotional bond, physical bond, experiential bond, & sexual bond. In short: it deepens your intimacy on all levels.
Keeps Sex from Being Boring
Look, I am just going to come out and say it: having the same sex, whether it’s good or not, get’s boring over time. Spice it up!
Introducing sex toys into the bedroom with your partner creates so many exciting, and different things you can do! Since there are a variety of different toys, you can start with one type of sex toy and move onto another one once you feel comfortable. And we haven’t even discussed other accessories such as swings, bondage, and tables into the mix.
Increase Your Pleasure & Achieve Orgasm
Raise your hand if you can, and have had, an orgasm from penetration alone? If you are raising your hand, you, my friend, are one of the lucky ones.
About 80% of those with a vulva need additional stimulation to achieve orgasm. Using a sex toy with vibration during penetration drastically increases your chance of orgasm, and even having an orgasm together. (hello, intimacy, I see you there!)
Not to mention, your pleasure increases your partner’s pleasure, this equates to more pleasure all around. There is also a pleasure to be found with anal toys, vibrating C-rings (cock rings, penis rings), butt plugs, and SO much more.
You’ll Laugh More
Think of a time when you had a brilliant idea to do something or a time when you tried to do something, and it actually turned into a super hilarious, awkward situation that makes you giggle just by thinking about it. Did you get one in mind? Great.
This may happen when you first start to introduce sex toys with your partner. It can get awkward, and silly, and you’ll even have times when it’s flat out funny. You may be shopping together for a new sex toy, and come across a monstrous dildo that makes you laugh. Or, you may make light of the fact that using a C-Ring takes a little finagling and finesse to put on.
The point is, there will be hilarious and silly moments that will make you laugh until your abs hurts.
Flat out: You’ll Have Better Sex
If you’ve skimmed this post and stopped here, this is what you need to know. Using sex toys with your partner creates an amazing sexual experience. There has not been a single person I have talked to, nor a client that I have worked with, that has shared with me that their sex life is WORSE because of sex toys.
Are they for everyone? Of course not! But, how do you know, unless you try?
Let’s Chat About Using Sex Toys!
Do you and your partner use sex toys in the bedroom? Why or why not? Have you thought about using them but not sure how your partner will react?
Do you have a funny experience you can share about using sex toys? Or any advice to share for others?
Want to try out using sex toys but you’re not sure where to start? I highly recommend you Shop the best couple’s toys with Bellesa Boutique!
Don’t forget, you can sign up for my FREE Sexual Health & Wellness Guide to start your path on sexual wellness, and learn more about communication, the sexual response cycle, and yes, TOYS!
Tonyalee is an avid reader, gym junkie, coffee addicted workaholic, and blogger. Be sure to follow on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram for random shenanigans.