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I have been drafting this post for about a month now, debating for what feels like forever if I want to post this. It’s not an “attention-seeking” post and I hate when we have confessions and talk about certain things and they come off that way. I want to share why I feel like fitting in is hard to do. For me.
Although many of us have found our niche, there are times when I find it REALLY hard to spark conversations with other bloggers, or talk about certain books and even relate because I am SO different.
One of the things I see the most of is the swooning. I don’t hardly EVER swoon. I don’t read romance novels to find my next “book boyfriend” or to read about all the sex. I read them because I love a good love story. So when I see ALL THE FEELS and ALL THE SWOONS? It’s not a conversation I can just jump into and often one I back out of. It does’t really persuade me to pick up a book, either. A swoony guy isn’t a SELLER. Yes, I have mentioned before that I have ALL THE FEELS; since generally, this happens with EMOTIONAL BOOKS and have even mentioned “swoons” – which would speak a lot about the character, the writing and author if I did – but it’s just not ME.
Bloggers and readers a like bond over their love of Book Boyfriends. I don’t do this either. Since I read a lot of YA it’s just weird since I am almost 30 – but also because I don’t want to be stuck in a fantasy land with a fictional person. There are often times when certain personality traits are glamorized and it’s not healthy, IMO. Not that there is anything against others that do this – often times it’s hilarious to watch – but it’s not ME.
All the flailing. Maybe it’s because I am pretty freaking jaded – but it takes a lot to get me wickedly excited and flailing over something. It’s not that I am a downer, per se, because I do get excited, lol. But not to where I am OH.EM.GEEING about a book coming up and flailing over the cover and freaking out so much and claiming I can’t breathe or crying because someone else received an ARC and I didn’t. Some times, it comes off creepy and extreme and I cannot get on that level of excitement. It’s just not ME.
Author relationships. I hardly ever talk to authors, save for those minimal tweets, I do not tweet them my reviews (unless it’s a tour or I am asked to for promo reasons, or the their books are on sale) and I sure as heck don’t flail at them or ASK them for anything. Many believe that the author/blogger relationship is a big deal, and in sense, I agree. It’s not like there should be a line drawn in the sand with bloggers over here and authors over there. But I feel like there IS a line and those lines get blurred – and crossed often.
I do have relationships with a few authors, but I don’t often review their work anymore. I will do a promo post, however. These are my friends. Not my business associates. And I personally feel that if that relationship gets too close… well.
Social Media. I am not very active on social media unless it’s a) the weekend or, b) I sneak on when I should be working. That’s because with the time I spend reading, blogging and hello, work and time spent with my family, it’s not a top priority for me. So when I do have some time, I feel weird just jumping in because, I am not really active. I also wonder, if I have lost a following due to my lack of presence.
I have learned over the past few years (like, 5) that my mouth often gets me in trouble. It’s hard for my humor and sarcasm to come across via internet so sometimes, it feels like I can’t BE MYSELF. Yes, I could say I am being sarcastic, but even my friends sometimes ask if I am serious or not. A lot of the time, when I do have something I want to add to a conversation, I don’t. This goes along with drama too – I am not usually privy to the nitty gritty, and I am pro at playing devil’s advocate. No one wants to hear the “other side of the story” so, again, why bother?
I also feel like there is always a… bandwagon that everyone seems to want to jump on – or feels they NEED to jump on, in order to BE SEEN or BE HEARD. It doesn’t feel genuine and I can’t do that. I am often one of unpopular opinion – and it’s hard to find my footing, because I feel so.. out-of-place, all the time.
- Do you ever feel like you don’t “FIT IN?”
- Have you struggled with this at all since starting your blog?
- What, if anything, has kept you from “fitting in”?
Tonyalee is an avid reader, gym junkie, coffee addicted workaholic, and blogger. Be sure to follow on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram for random shenanigans.