Why My Feelings For Romance Has Changed

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Old Me, Reading a Romance


Admittedly… I’ve never really been a fan of “light” romance. I like darker stories; with a little more… on the line? I like complex characters, unlikable characters, dirty talkers, and men rough around the edges. And that hasn’t changed; I just have a new appreciation for the light stories, the cheesy & swoony & the sweet moments.

I’ve chatted endlessly about Romance novels, but never really from a more.. personal point of view. And because of events that have happened in my life over the past… 4ish years, but especially the last 1, I have a different perspective, and love, for them. 


Because I found the love of my life. 

New Me, Reading a romance


I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. I knew something changed in me then, but at the time I didn’t know what it was, or that it could be “love at first sight.” I say this for many reasons, but mainly because I was… married at the time. Unhappily married, but married none the less.

We met at work 6 years ago, and (I feel) we had an instant connection. We just got along really well, even when I felt like I hated him because he is SUCH an arrogant ass and almost got me fired. That’s a fun story for another time.ย 

Before, when reading a romance about certain situations, or relationships, I considered them.. unbelievable? Cheesy? “Insta-love” gets thrown around a lot and while my experience wasn’t like THAT, I get it now. I get the sweet moments. The “YOU COMPLETE ME’S” the declarations of love and the infinite stars in the universe. I get that, that kind of love does exist.ย 

And… we’re THAT couple. We write cute notes to each other (on the mirror and white board). People watch us stare at each other.(yeah that’s weird). We don’t really fight or argue, unless we’re talking about who loves each other more. Constantly touching, dancing about, or just talking.

Just the other day I said to him, ‘I always thought super sweet metaphors in romance were cheesy af. Until I feel in love with you. I get it now.’

Anyway, the point is: It’s real. It’s true. And I get it now, okay?

Let’s Chat

  • What is your favorite type of romance novel?
  • What’s your favorite troupe?
  • Does your love life influence your thoughts/love for a book? Why or why not?

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11 thoughts on “Why My Feelings For Romance Has Changed

  1. Sophia @ Bookwyrming Thoughts

    I’ve actually never fallen in love, so I live vicariously through all the fictional characters. ๐Ÿ˜€

    I’ve always been a fan of light romance with the cheese and swoon, though sometimes there’s TOO much. I love the ones that make you smile or laugh, but sometimes I also like a bit of darkness in romances as well. While everyone would like an ideal romance with the lightness, there’s going to be something down the line that will put the love on the line and I think it gives the character more depth to them (and a bit of vulnerability).
    Sophia @ Bookwyrming Thoughts recently posted…How I Try to Write Realistic RelationshipsMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      I think at first, I didn’t believe what was happening was REAL ya know? LIKE SERIOUSLY, STOP GIVING SO MANY EXPECTATIONS.

      Agree, it can be too much! I still love my dark books, for sure

  2. Tanya @ Girl Plus Books

    I’m a total romantic – in real life and in my reading choices. My husband and I have been together for 27 years and will celebrate 20 years of marriage in May. We’re still sickeningly in love (LOL) and I still get excited when he walks in a room. People say that kind of love doesn’t last but I beg to differ. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve always been a romance reader and my choice of sun-genre has varied over the years. I don’t really get into the super-cute, squeaky clean romances but… *shrugs*… there’s something out there for everyone. I love contemporary, I love angsty, I love cheesy, I love the tortured hero but I also love the nice guy. I can even go with insta-love when it’s not too over the top. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Tanya @ Girl Plus Books recently posted…Review: Wild Country by Anne BishopMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      Aww, that makes me so happy to hear!! I would have said that love didn’t exist FOR ME, but I have changed my mind on that, for sure ๐Ÿ™‚

      I’ve ALWAYS love drama and angst. The more the better LOL Send me some recs, girl

  3. Stephanie

    Awww, congrats! I’m glad you’ve found some happiness in this complicated world.

    I enjoy a good love story. I’m a major sucker for the ‘celebrity falls for regular girl/woman’ trope (although I do almost no celebrity watching in real life!), and I love time travel romance thanks to my mom’s downstairs closet collection of those when I was young. I’m not a huge fan of the bad boy trope; those stories just make me want to scream at the female MC. And recently, all the covers with the super hot bad boy with tattoos on make me chuckle a little- I have no tattoos; my mother has three or four. She must be super bad! ๐Ÿ˜€
    Stephanie recently posted…Monthly roundup: February 2019My Profile

    1. tonyalee

      Thanks! It makes me so happy. It wasn’t conventional by any means, but oh well.

      TIME TRAVEL ROMANCE IS THE ACTUAL BEST. I’ve never been one for the celeb to “regular” girl. Maybe because I haven’t read a good one??

  4. Christy LoveOfBooks

    Aww … It’s funny how our reading preferences can change depending on what we’re experiencing. I love it all depending on my mood. I’m a very complex being and enjoy a lot of different types of “romances” in real life too. lol. So it’s easy to connect with the f-ed up stuff, but also to sweet stuff. But see, that’s why it irritates me when people will say “that’s not realistic” – whatever it is they’re referring to – just because it isn’t for them, doesn’t mean it isn’t for others. I’ve seen people say that about various books where I’m like wtf, it is spot-on relatable to me. Not just romance. Ugh, I could serious go off on this subject. lol.
    Christy LoveOfBooks recently posted…My Year in Review & Top Reads 2018My Profile

    1. tonyalee

      Yes, mine has changed a lot of the years, but this has probably most impactful.

      When I said, “it’s not realistic” I always meant FOR ME. Others, of course, have their own explanations ya know? But agreed, I find myself in books at the time!

  5. Lizzy @ Bent Bookworm

    Awwww, this is super sweet. I’m so happy for you! I also have a…suspicious eye when it comes to most romance stories, as I’ve also been divorced (and happily remarried!). It IS funny how one’s perspective changes!

    1. tonyalee

      Isnโ€™t it?! So many different โ€œviewsโ€ have changed over the years, and sometimes itโ€™s small things!

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