Let’s Talk: Blogger to Blogger | Drama



Let’s Talk: Blogger to Blogger is a discussion feature that is aimed and dedicated to bloggers. In which we discuss and debate topics from around the blogging community and inspire others.

For a full list of topics, visit the archive. If you have a topic for discussion let me know!


Let’s Talk: Blogger to Blogger has been one of favorite features that I host here at Lilybloombooks. I love talking about all things books and sharing those things on my blog with readers. But I also like discussing book related things with the community.

I took to social media for this post – because my mind was full of so many things and I couldn’t really choose a topic. Of the four topics I listed in the poll, drama, obviously won. (This is actually my second post on drama, I wrote one a long time ago, too. And I did not hold back, either.)

And this post scares me. See, if there is one topic that could create drama, it’s talking about drama. And it’s such a broad topic when you don’t have something specific to talk about.

With any community, there is going to be some controversy. You have many individuals with different opinions and a different way of doing things – sometimes our intentions get lost in translation. Other times, there are those that are just not happy people and like to start things or stir the pot, or jealously may play a role. Others, like to be live in the spot light. Some, cannot handle confrontation, are very passive aggressive about a situation or want to argue until they are blue in the face. There are so many contributing factors.

But in essence, we are the ones that create the drama. We are the ones that feed the drama. WE are the ones KEEPING IT ALIVE.

From a personal stand point – I have no problem voicing my opinion about any topic — even though I know which ones I can take to the community and which ones need to stay behind closed doors*. Does it create some tension? Oh, I’m sure. I have had many comments come back to me that are so passive aggressive and even though I wanted to reply, I didn’t. There is nothing wrong with this – or wanting to take to social media about everything. But at the same time, you should almost always expect someone to disagree with you about a topic and if you can’t handle that, don’t bring it. More on this another day.

But then I think, WHAT IS DRAMA? What can be DEFINED as drama? There are probably a few things popping into your head right now of a PERFECT example. But where’s the point from which is goes from a disagreement to drama? Is it the number of people involved? The topic? How it’s being handled?

I can’t say for certain what topics stir up the most “drama” – but I have a guess – because I feel like it’s a new THING everyday. And I feel like there are so many different topics and contributing factors I could, and want to, talk about. Yet, I feel that each one is important and I just don’t have the time to tackle every single subject under the DRAMA hat, ya know**?

Yet at the same time, there are things that have been brought to our attention that needed to be – that created MONSTROUS amounts of drama. Books for Trade, anyone?

It seems like I don’t have a point for this post – but I do. We can’t change the fact that there will be drama, because that’s not a realistic goal. But you can change your involvement. You can change how long it goes on for. You can change how big or small it may be. You can change HOW it affects YOU. Just think, is it worth it?

*By this, I mean discussing with your friends on DM, text email etc. Sometimes, things are better left unsaid. Also, I ALWAYS stand behind my opinion.
**I am open to making this a series of posts.

Let’s Talk
  • What is your definition of DRAMA?
  • What topic do you feel creates the most drama?
  • Have you ever been in the middle of any drama? Why or Why Not?
  • Tell me one thing you think we could do to potentially create LESS drama?



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9 thoughts on “Let’s Talk: Blogger to Blogger | Drama

  1. Katheryn @ Perks of being a BookNerd

    I generally stay away from drama if I can. I’m really not good with confrontation on any level, and so I try to not say anything controversial. However, I do tend to say first things that come to mind. I don’t have much of a filter when I get going, and even sometimes when I’m just trying to put forth my opinion but round it off so it doesn’t come across as rude or controversial in any way, it STILL comes off sounding bad. I can never win. And sometimes, there are people that are just too sensitive to even the slightest remark that to most others seems harmless. Great post, by the way. I do love your ranting posts, and blogger-to-blogger ones. Always interesting. 🙂

    1. tonyalee

      This is exactly what happens to me. I’ve slowly learned what “not to say” but still, it comes off rude and insensitive.

      And yes, there are many that automatically get defensive about a subject/situation! It’s a fine line and finding balance is hard, for sure.

      And thank you!! This makes me happy to hear. These posts are fun to write 🙂

  2. Alyssa Susanna (The Eater of Books!)

    I get you, Tonya! I feel like there definitely have been a few times when I want to post something but then I’m like, should I? I don’t want to be that person that has an ongoing stream of tweets about how someone kicked my puppy or someone else’s puppy or something like that. I mean, if someone wants to do that, that’s their business… but I agree about what you’re saying about adding drama.

    I don’t even know what drama is anymore, in the blogging world. Is it saying your own opinion about something possibly inflammatory? Is it outright insulting someone? Is it the passive-aggressive behavior that bothers someone enough to tweet/post about it? Is it plagiarizing? I feel like there is some sort of indirect “she did this to me!” post every week almost! It’s so easy to step on anyone’s toes. Which makes me sad, because I am definitely an outspoken person and I have sooo reined it in because I don’t want something to be misconstrued! If that makes sense? I like your comment reply about people getting automatically defensive – I see this a lot as well as I’ve done this before, and I’m sorry for it, the few times it’s happened. Is the best thing not to say anything ever? This is where I’m at! :O

    Anyway, excellent post, Tonya! I doubt I contributed anything useful to the discussion but I saw this linked tweeted and I wanted to drop by 🙂 Have a great afternoon!

    Alyssa @ The Eater of Books!
    Alyssa Susanna (The Eater of Books!) recently posted…Playlist: An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa TahirMy Profile

  3. Sheri @ Tangled Up In Books

    Sometimes I feel oblivious to the community around me because every once in a while I catch wind that drama may or may not have happened the other day but it’s always far from me and I never have a clue about what’s going on.

    I’m human (…and sometimes nosy) so there’s always this huge curiosity that starts to pick away at me about wanting to find out what the blow up was about but I never give in because my brain decides to take the logical side and tell me “You’re too old for this crap. Go read and leave it to the drama queens”

    There’s always going to be drama I feel like it’s unavoidable because, like you said, we’re a huge community with a number of differing opinions and personalities. People are always gonna clash.

    I understand some people’s need to jump in and express their opinion on whatever is blowing up around them. But until that stops and people just let things die quickly instead of jumping on the offense/defense bandwagon the drama is here to stay. Sadly.

    Now I’m gonna go read and pretend like we all live in peace and harmony 😀 LOL!

  4. Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight

    Oh I like this! It’s funny, because I was actually reading a few posts last night that would quite fit the drama bill. Here’s kind of how I see it (and I may be totally wrong here, just my opinion!): There are two kinds of drama: the necessary, real drama (like when people were stalked, or scammed, or what have you) and the more manufactured drama “the she said XYZ about me” nonsense. I think the latter should be dealt with personally, and not in public. There’s just no need for it. If you have a problem with someone’s actions, fine, discuss it! And I can see that sometimes things NEED to end up being brought to light, but only if those private, less dramatic channels have failed.

    Now, the million dollar question: Have I been involved? Why yes, I nearly broke Twitter a few weeks ago with the #booksfortrade debacle 😉 So, we all know what/who the topic is about, so let’s just say I held up my end of the deal and got nothing but a big old headache in return. I was talking to friends about it (privately, mind you) when they shared stories about the same person doing the same thing. So… one of them went public. I had been warned about this person, chose to be naive and give them the benefit of the doubt, and I kind of chalked it up as my own fault… until I found out that this person was doing the same to underage kids AND threatening them. That was it. THAT was the type of drama that I felt SHOULD be aired. Because I don’t want this kind of thing to continue, and I wouldn’t want to have known and not said anything.

    Now, and maybe you can even help me here, but when do you give up and basically say “well, I need to just let it go, I have lost the books, etc”? I am SO on the fence about that. I think, to answer another of your questions, that the best way to deal with the drama is for all parties to basically grow up and figure out how to deal with conflict, but… that isn’t realistic. Usually one party is NOT going to do that, and so you have two choices: Continue the drama in effect, or give up. I like neither option.

    I don’t know, I just thought that after high school, drama would be behind me, but I have found that to be wholly inaccurate. In fact, high school was probably the least dramatic time in my life, ironically 😉

    GREAT discussion, I am really looking forward to seeing what others think too!
    Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight recently posted…Initial Impressions TagMy Profile

  5. Christy

    I tend to avoid the drama in whatever form. Most of the time I don’t even know it’s going on until someone I know mentions it. But I definitely do some bitching behind the scenes, but I’m not looking to add fuel to a fire. I think there are people who just love drama period.
    Christy recently posted…The Veil by Chloe NeillMy Profile

  6. Wendy @ Book Scents

    I avoid the drama in the sense that I don’t really engage in it on twitter. Sometimes I may have a very strong opinion on what’s going on but I’ll take it off social media and talk about it via text because I don’t want to add more fodder to the flame. (I think I mixed analogies there?) Of course I’m always nosy and want to see what’s going on though, ha.
    Wendy @ Book Scents recently posted…Stacking the Shelves (19)My Profile

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