Let’s Talk: Blogger to Blogger | Commenting

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Let’s Talk: Blogger to Blogger is a discussion feature that is aimed and dedicated to bloggers. In which we discuss and debate topics from around the blogging community and inspire others.

For a full list of topics, visit the archive. If you have a topic for discussion let me know!

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I’ve been sitting on this post for a while now. It’s one of those topics that I have been excited, yet scared, to talk about. For most in the community, it’s a divided topic and one I am READY to tackle.

Remember awhile ago when that I COMMENT BACK “movement” started? You signed up, added the button to your blog, basically promising to return ALL comments on your blog. I don’t mean RESPONDING to those left on your blog. But going to theirs and commenting back.

At the time, I thought this was such a great idea! I was a new(er) blog and trying to break out into the community/world was hard work. There weren’t AS MANY of us then as there is now (which isn’t saying much because it feels like book bloggers are a dime a dozen). To this day, I do feel that this could be a great way for newer blogs to break out in the community and develop friendships with other bloggers.

I don’t think it should be used as a tool to gain comments/page views. I see commenting in a new light. Thus, make me anti-commenting back. 

Here’s why.

The Obligation

I detest feeling obligated to do ANYTHING. And feeling like I HAVE to comment back on someone’s blog because they commented on mine? Makes me feel some kind of way. I feel like the comments are less original (not meaningful, because they are) and so freaking TIME CONSUMING. That may sound awful – but there was a time when I was getting a lot of comments and it was hard to keep up with. And if I am going to take the time to comment on your blog, then I want to do it because what you posted caught my eye. What you posted sparked something in me worth saying. Not because you said something on mine.

This goes both ways. I don’t want you to feel obligated to comment on my blog because I commented on yours. If my post doesn’t interest you, move on. Seriously, find a blog and/or blog post that will hold your interest and give you something you want. Does his make me sad? Absolutely. But I would rather have 1 loyal follower comment than 100 non-followers who don’t-care-what-I-talk-about-[content] anyway comment.

It’s Not a Conversation

I see this a lot when it comes to opinions about commenting back. But commenting on my blog, and me returning the favor, is not a conversation. You commenting on my blog and my “reply” creates a conversation. I do this often – when I get an email notification that the owner of the blog responded to my comment and I GO BACK and comment again, assuming there is something I want to say. THIS is a conversation, people.

What Do I Even Say?

Listen, there are times when I read a post – I follow many blogs – and there is nothing to say. If I say, “Great review! I felt the same way!” or, “OMG I totally agree, thanks for sharing.” Sparks those comments, (bahaha, funny) of, LEAVE A MEANINGFUL COMMENT or THESE COMMENTS ARE NOT MEANINGFUL or I WON’T COMMENT BACK IF THE COMMENT ISN’T MEANINGFUL. Excuse me, what the crap do you mean, MEANINGFUL? The fact that I took the time to read your post AND I left a comment is meaningful enough, thanks.

Tit for Tat Just Doesn’t Work For Me

Take a guess on how many comments/commentators I lost when I didn’t have the time to visit other blogs because… OMG I have a life? Guess.

At least 90%.

That is SAD. That tells me that either a) my content went down the drain when it came to “meaningful content” or, b) all those people who commented on my blog stopped visiting because I wasn’t returning the favor. This shined the light on my loyal followers.. THAT is more meaningful to me than 20 comments, per post, thank you very much.

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That isn’t to say that I don’t EVER return comments. I do. I just don’t make it feel like an obligation – meaning, I save posts for later, note who commented and make a note to at some point, visit. That doesn’t guarantee a comment. I return comments on the ORIGINAL comment (99% of the time). Again, this creates the conversation and this let’s the person know that I saw it, appreciate it and even returned it.

Do I frown on others that do this? Not at all. If this is something that works for you, then hey, more power to you. I am glad that you make it work for you and your blog. However, I’ve noticed that there are some individuals that stop commenting once the favor isn’t returned (see above). And really, that’s not fair. Also, not getting comments doesn’t mean your content isn’t read. Some of the largest blogs out there don’t have many comments but their content is READ.

Don’t get me wrong – I think commenting IS important. It gets you out there. It helps you meet new people. People start to remember you. But the fact that we rely so much on other bloggers for page views and comments makes this such a BIG THING in our community. When I started blogging, I didn’t KNOW there was a community, or rules or this tit for tat thing. I started this blog for me and fellow readers. The fact that so many of my readers are bloggers is a bonus. I can’t speak for other communities, because I am not apart of another one, but it seems like we do things to please other bloggers SO MUCH in order to NOT be forgotten. But that’s a topic for another day.

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Let’s talk
  • What are your general thoughts on commenting back? Do you agree/disagree with any of mine?
  • Do you stop commenting on a blog if they don’t return a comment as often?
  • How do you feel if someone doesn’t EVER return comments?
  • Do you think EVERYONE should return comments?

 

 

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44 thoughts on “Let’s Talk: Blogger to Blogger | Commenting

  1. Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

    Ooooh! This is a good one. I agree – and disagree. (Way to make up my mind, right?) Okay, first of all, I agree because it does get exhausting to comment back all the time. Sometimes it takes me HOURS just to reply to comments and comment back. And that, right there, means that there are a lot of days that I just don’t have time to visit other blogs I’d really like to visit. Sometimes I just have to let it go and let some of those comments go by the wayside. It’s also really discouraging to see my numbers go way down during periods where I just don’t have as much time to visit and comment on other blogs.

    BUT on the other hand, I DO have some really loyal followers who stop by pretty much no matter what. Of course, they don’t necessarily comment on EVERY post, but I know they’ll stick around. And most of the time, the way that I originally built my relationship with those bloggers was by commenting back. So I definitely see value in commenting back and I think it does help me form a relationship with bloggers at least some of the time. Plus, I really like to make newer bloggers feel welcome and happy – I remember what it was like when I got that ONE comment on a post and was so excited.

    To address one other comment you made – I DO sometimes give up on my bloggers who NEVER comment back. There are some bigger bloggers who I’ve loved, but they have never visited my blog, even when I’ve commented on theirs quite often. (Actually, I guess this goes for some smaller bloggers too – it just seems to happen more often with bigger bloggers.) Eventually, I start to feel like it’s not worth my time to comment there (especially if they also don’t reply very often). I might still read their posts when they catch my eye, but I rarely comment. And I totally understand that it’s hard to comment back and that it takes a lot of time (especially for those bigger bloggers), but I just want to feel like they’ve at least tried to check out my blog every once in awhile.

    So,, that was my post (oops, I mean comment – it only seems like I wrote a whole post) on commenting back. 🙂
    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction recently posted…Top Ten Books I Read in 2015My Profile

    1. tonyalee

      Yes, it takes a lot of time! During this time of year (Aug.- Feb.), I am working 60+ hours a week, so it’s hard to not only spend time with my family, make meals, house stuff but read and blog and then comment? I can’t handle it! And that’s saying a lot because I CAN handle a lot LOL And honestly, I think that’s why my thoughts on commenting back started changing- because it IS discouraging when that happens. And this year isn’t the first time, either.

      Like your blog, I comment on when I can because 99% of the time, I have something to say (this is getting easier for me to do since I am following a lot of blogs by email now) And I know you are one of my loyal followers *hugs* There are some bloggers which I have built a relationship with this way – but not too many, tbh. But again, it’s good to develop relationships and get yourself out there.

      When you say you give up on those bloggers – do you mean comment reply or commenting back on your blog? I think a lot of the veteran bloggers don’t comment back because it wasn’t something that was “required” before. But this is where replying to comments comes in, because this is where the appreciation shows to me.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!! 🙂

  2. Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

    I actually mean commenting back – and I know that’s probably horrible to say, but I’m being honest here. If I’ve commented on someone’s blog several times and they’ve NEVER come back to mine and commented, I’m definitely less likely to comment again in the future (and it’s even possible they might fall off my radar somewhat – though I don’t actually stop following – I just maybe eventually forget about them a bit or move them into a less often visited folder on Bloglovin’). I’m not saying I necessarily want someone to comment back every time, but I appreciate it when someone makes an effort to stop by once in awhile. I’d rather keep up conversations with people who care about the things I have to say too. Maybe that sounds selfish, but I’m kept plenty busy as it is, so commenting on the blogs of people who don’t ever reciprocate just ends up pretty low on my priority list.
    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction recently posted…Top Ten Books I Read in 2015My Profile

    1. tonyalee

      No, that doesn’t make you selfish and I appreciate the honesty!

      I see both sides. I know of MANY bloggers that don’t comment back – and it makes you feel… I don’t know, frustrated? That you take the time and they don’t return it. But at the same time, I don’t feel like it should FEEL like a requirement, ya know? I mean, YOU know I love your blog and comment when I can. I know that you are busy too, so I am not salty about it. Maybe other bloggers feel commenting on other blogs is beneath them? IDk. I don’t feel that way. I just hate feeling OBLIGATED to.

  3. Angel @Angel Reads

    I try and comment on a couple blogs each day – I just like spreading the love. I love when people comment on my blog and then I can start conversations with them; so why not do it to others.
    But I do find it hard to replie to everyone or go to everyones blog.
    There are times where I go weeks without commentng on blogs or replie to comments simply because I don’t have time or energy (that may seem rude or selfish), but sometimes I find it so hard.

    Thanks for the post.
    Angel @Angel Reads recently posted…Book Review: These Shallow Graves by Jennifer DonnellyMy Profile

    1. Jenna @ Jinkies Books

      I’m the same way, I comment back on people when they comment on mine but I don’t always have time to go back to their blog and find something I can leave a good comment on. But sometimes when I’m procrastinating, like now, I will go and comment on a lot of different blogs. I just wish I could do it more often. I did a lot during the summer when I had more time. I’ve been making more of an effort to comment on at least two every day because I feel like I’ve fallen off the face of the earth if I stop.
      Jenna @ Jinkies Books recently posted…Review: Orphan TrainMy Profile

    2. tonyalee

      If you want to take the time and comment on blogs because you want to, that’s awesome. But it’s when it’s expected and implied that this is a requirement to be a “good blogger.” Spreading the love is easy and an awesome thing to do.

      And it’s not rude or selfish. WE come first, so if you are tired or just don’t have the time, that’s okay!

      1. Jenna @ Jinkies Books

        And I think as bloggers get more comments because they say they’ll comment back they will eventually realize this and they will start to do it too. It’s almost a self-preservation thing.
        But whenever I read a review and it’s one that makes me really want to read the book or if I have read the book I will drop just a little comment and let them know they put it on my radar or what I thought about the book

        1. tonyalee

          I feel like it is. I have experienced it first hand. And it sucks that people only want to visit/comment because they think you will do the same. It’s not RIGHT to me.

  4. Chrissi Reads

    I used to comment a lot more on blogs, but with my new job I don’t have as much free time as I used to. I often read the posts of my favourites, but just don’t have time to leave a comment. Mainly because I am reading on my phone/reading an email of the post! 🙂 I think it’s nice to get comments and leave comments, but I’m not one that expects people to comment back, just because I’ve commented on their blog.
    Chrissi Reads recently posted…UnspeakableMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      I hate not having the time to comment on the blogs that I want to. I read a lot of posts on my phone as well, and commenting on a mobile device is not easy!

      I love that you said you don’t expect it. I don’t either – and I wish there were more people that felt this way, too.

  5. Brittany @ The Book Addict's Guide

    I definitely go back and forth! If I had to choose, I think people would appreciate me going to comment on their blog more than me replying back to a comment they left on mine. They’ve already visited my blog and taken the time to read and comment on what I wrote. I think the way to share the love back is to go comment on THEIR posts instead of replying. I mean, replying is nice but yes — I simply just don’t have the time anymore! It’s really hard to find the time to do it (HA I remember those days). I think my time is more appreciated when I spend it showing appreciation for someone else’s posts!
    I do like replying back when I see new faces (especially if I don’t have the time to read blog posts) because I like it as a “Hey, I saw your comment and thank you for supporting me!” It’s such a hard thing when you comment on someone’s blog and you get no reply… And sadly I know that I’ve done that to some of my readers. It’s not because I don’t care. I’m just trying to spread my time out the best that I can. I work 50+ hours a week. I now have an Etsy shop to sell bookish candles. I have a husband and I have to make dinner, pay bills, run errands, etc. I really try to spend time interacting with people but it’s hard to do it ALL the time!
    Interesting discussion! I’m sure a lot of us feel the same way. It’s a hobby. We do it when we can! Hopefully our readers understand <3
    Brittany @ The Book Addict’s Guide recently posted…Winter (The Lunar Chronicles #4) – Marissa Meyer | Review + Giveaway!My Profile

    1. tonyalee

      I think they would appreciate it too! Sadly, that’s what a lot of people expect. And I just don’t have the time anymore. Honestly, I just think it’s rude to stop commenting on a blog you enjoy reading because that person doesn’t return the comment enough. It happens ALL the time.

      New faces are different. I visit them more often and return to see what posts they have. But again, I don’t always comment back. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  6. Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight

    I love this post SO MUCH. You are saying things that I have thought so often. I have such a hard time with this. I like to comment back, I do! But, do I always have time? Nope. Not even close. And like you said, those times when I can’t, I have seen a HUGE decline in comments/visitors. This actually happened to me recently, and it was so, so discouraging. I’d had some personal stuff going on, a death in the family, and I was sick, and exhausted, and overwhelmed, and was doing NaNo, and alone with my kids for more than 12 hours a day… basically, I was drowning. And when I said so, and said that a week or so worth of comments were just going to have to be unresponded to for my sanity (though I DID read each one!), there were a lot of people who didn’t come back, and that made me so, so sad. Not because of the numbers or anything, just because I had hoped that I was more than a number to someone else, you know? That’s the major problem I see with the “commenting back” movement- it’s taken SO literally. I swear it’s like a tally for some people- “I commented on two of your posts, so you must comment on two of mine”, and I am sorry, that is ridiculous.

    I DO like to comment back, in a more laid back approach, as often as possible. But sometimes life happens. Or sometimes the person hasn’t posted in two months, or I have nothing to say, or whatever. And I try to respond as often as possible- especially in posts like a discussion where really, a comment requires a response. I will admit, sometimes I respond a week later, but I try 🙂

    Now, I DO start to feel kind of bad if I go to someone’s blog and comment a bunch of times and get no response OR comment back. That I think is kind of crappy. I mean, at least respond to the comment I left, something! Especially when it is a comment I spent a lot of time writing, etc. I get that things happen, and I would never judge someone on a few missed replies or anything! I mean more like someone that never, ever acknowledges you in any way. Then, I am done. Just because that isn’t really the kind of person I need to be visiting- especially with limited time. In those cases, I’d much rather visit people I have built a rapport with. So I guess that in a sense, I DO spend more time commenting on blogs whose bloggers have commented on mine- just for the sheer fact that when I am using my finite resources, their names and links are right in front of me, you know? But I also follow plenty of bloggers, so I see their posts too and comment. For instance, I saw your post in my Bloglovin feed, said to myself “ah, this sounds interesting!” and came on over. It’s tough to balance though, and I would NEVER think that anyone is required to comment back!

    Basically, my feeling is this: acknowledge that someone has left a heartfelt comment (like you clearly do!) and everything else shouldn’t matter. If someone is only in it for number of comments well… that’s not a great reason to blog! Fabulous post, you really got me thinking about how I should navigate all of this from now on. Because I need to stop overwhelming myself so much.
    Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight recently posted…Books I’m Never Reviewing: Part SevenMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      I think a lot of it chalks up to whether or not you LIKE to return comments or not. Not saying that I don’t, but I don’t like the IMPLIED requirement of it. Make sense?? It’s happened to me several times too, especially in the Fall/Winter when I am swamped at work. I typically say that I wont be around as much but I still read each comment and they go WAY down. It’s a hard pill to swallow, especially since you are still working so hard yet those readers/ wont even visit because there is NOTHING in it for them.

      How long have you been blogging?? Because when I started, this wasn’t a thing. It was a few months after I started that I noticed people making comments about commenting back and that “bloggers commenting back” movement started. maybe i missed it? But it feels like it started at one point and it’s taken off from there. Like I said, I get it for making yourself known and meeting bloggers but it shouldn’t FEEL like a requirement. There are some bloggers that I know for sure don’t even comment on blogs AT ALL but I still read their content. I like their approach and what they have to say.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

      1. Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight

        I completely agree! The feeling forced is a HUGE turn off. And yes! I did the same thing, I had explained my situation, and said that I would be back in the swing of things as soon as I could, and BAM, decline. That just rubbed me the wrong way.

        I have been blogging for a little over 2 years. I think it was just starting to be a thing around that time. Because I had NO comments at all, for months on end, and then one day, people started commenting, and then I saw all the “bloggers commenting back” pictures, and figured that had something to do with it.

        I genuinely enjoy commenting, but I also genuinely enjoy getting more than 2 hours of sleep a night- and that is what I have been running on while trying to keep up with everything. So I kind of feel like if they can’t appreciate that I am a human being too, then maybe it’s okay if they don’t want to comment! My goal is trying NOT to take it so personally, because I have been. It makes me sad, honestly. BUT I know that you are spot on when you say they are not commenting because there isn’t anything in it for them- it wouldn’t matter what kind of content I was posting, if it wasn’t a gain, it wouldn’t matter for them regardless.
        Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight recently posted…Review: Firsts by Laurie Elizabeth FlynnMy Profile

  7. Wendy @ Book Scents

    Love this post. I hate the obligation of “I commented on your blog and you didn’t comment on mine so you’re dead to me.” not quite that drastically but gosh I just don’t have time. A lot of times I’ll read a post and have thoughts but don’t actually have time to write a comment! I read posts a lot on my phone I think and it’s just hard to comment on my phone. A lot of times I’ll read a review but I don’t have too much to say so… I don’t comment because I don’t have much to say? And I’m like perpetually behind on all things blogging so blog visitng falls to the wayside a lot. I def try to make an effort because I’m INTERESTED in the blogs I follow and want to know what they’re thinking/writing/etc but TIME. So I maximize time by commenting when I really have something to say, I guess.

    I don’t think I was really concise in my thoughts but. That’s what I think. 🙂
    Wendy @ Book Scents recently posted…Audiobook Review: Winter by Marissa MeyerMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      But it IS that drastic for some! I don’t get it LOL

      I think reviews are the least commented on posts, which makes sense to me. Unless I wholly agree or disagree, I dont’ say much. I am more inclined to leave stupid random comments on your blog, Jess, Danielle and our posse but not others.

  8. Silvara

    I joined the bloggers commenting back thing way back when I first started my blog. Like you, I thought it was a great idea! And then after a few months, I was no longer out of work and had a full-time job as well as my blog. And I just didn’t have time to track down posts I wanted to comment back on. (And honestly, a lot of the posts some of the commenters back then were posting on their blogs were ones I wasn’t interested in. So finding a post where I could leave a meaningful comment was WORK!)

    I still try to comment back when I have the time to. But if the only posts I can find to comment on are things like cover reveals, book reviews not in my interest categories, or a million and one memes, I tend to not comment and move on. I figure they’d rather get better comments than a one or two word forced comment. But perhaps that’s just me? But I always respond to comments left on my own blog.

    As far as returning comments. It depends? *laughs* If the blogs I comment on, respond to my comment on their blog, I’m happy. If they want to take the time to comment on my blog, that’s fantastic! But as long as I get some kind of response, it’s all good. It’s when I comment on a blog and never get any kind of response that I tend to stop visiting that blog. No comment replies on their blog? No comment on mine instead of a comment reply? No more visits and leaving comments from me to them.

    I understand about RL getting in the way. So it’s not like I leave one comment, never hear anything and boycott. It’s more like if I’ve left a number of comments and never gotten a reply or a comment on my own blog from them, THEN I’ll stop bothering to visit that particular blog.
    Silvara recently posted…Post Titles Are HardMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      YES, finding a post sometimes is half the battle! Then you have to come up with something to say (assuming you have anything to say) so you aren’t “accused” of leaving a non-meaningful comment. *growls*

      I think acknowledge is the key. Readers want to feel like their voices are being heard, and for some [bloggers] that’s a return comment. To me, if you take the time to read my post and comment, that’s fabulous, but that’s on you. Don’t expect me to come back and return it. I may comment back – I may not. But I always reply.

  9. Tessa

    Sure, I love it when people commentback, but I do not think that you should have to comment on every person’s blog who has ever left a comment on yours. To me, comments are something meaningful. They express interest and thoughtfulness. Commenting just for the sake of commenting is not either of those. I do not comment back most of the time. I barely have time to write new posts, so I really do not have the time to visit dozens of blogs and scour their blog for something to comment on. I truly admire and applaud those bloggers who make a commitment to commentback, but I do not believe that it should be required.

    1. tonyalee

      I think we can all agree we love it when we get return comments. But for me, it’s not expected, ya know? I think they SHOULD be meaningful, and not an obligation.

      I can’t say I admire those that do it – but it’s awesome that they take the time. I know many that don’t return comments for the sake of commenting, more because they feel it’s the “right thing to do.” Whether I agree is here no there, though LOL

  10. Valerie

    AGREEE. Agree agree agree.

    I do not have the time to comment meaningless (like actually THINKING HARD about the post and having to come up with something just to comment. This hurts the brain, I tell you). This is why I came to the decision a long time ago that I would just comment on posts that actually interested me. And I’m going to be super honest, but sometimes I find even replying back to comments on my own blog is tedious and redundant. Especially TTT’s and my recent blogoversary post. All I would be saying is “Thanks!” to almost every comment, and that isn’t necessarily a discussion.

    So no, I don’t think you’re required to comment back. I really just follow blogs for content, and I’ll comment if I want to.

    Awesome post Tonya! Definitely something that has been on my mind! (My friend did a poll on Twitter, and apparently a lot of people won’t come back to your blog if you stop commenting back on theirs)
    Valerie recently posted…ARC Review: Not If I See You FirstMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      I agree, replying to comments can be hard too! There are times when I am sitting here trying to come up with a reply and the words never come!

      I noticed a lot of people stopped commenting on memes a long time ago – which is fine. They are more for me anyway, should I choose to do them that week. I just hate how many people stop visiting other blogs because of the commenting back thing.

      AND. I want to see this poll! I just think it’s so rude to stop visiting a blog if they don’t always comment back. We blog for readers, not other bloggers and I hate that mentality!

  11. Zeee @ I Heart Romance & YA

    I used to comment back every time someone comments on my blog. But then I got stuck when the post is just not something that interests me or something that I even cared for. At which point, I tried to look for other posts to comment on. But that was then. Now, if someone comments, I reply and visit their blog. If that post interests me at all, I will leave a comment, if not then I just won’t. I don’t want it to feel like an obligation because then it won’t be fun anymore. The same goes with reolying on comments to my blog. I’ll try my best to especially if there is something left to say but if it’s something like “great post” I don’t even bother.

    I also subscribe via email to blogs I read because it’s easier for me. So I read their blogs that way.
    Zeee @ I Heart Romance & YA recently posted…Talon by Julie Kagawa | Audiobook ReviewMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      Exactly. Sometimes, it’s really hard to find something to comment on. I also feel like LOOKING for a post is pretty tedious.

      And you’re right, it ISN’T fun when it feels like an obligation.

  12. Jessica@Lovin' Los Libros

    I really love this post. It is a very divided topic, and there’s so much that I truly can relate to. My work day is jam packed. I don’t get the liberty of finding time during the day to quickly read posts or comment. After work, I go to the gym, have to take care of my dog, cook/eat dinner. And then there’s literally 3 or 4 hours before I have to go back to bed! It’s so sad. I’ll want to watch TV or read or play video games! There are NOT ENOUGH hours in the day!

    So I am very guilty of not commenting. And then I get sad when people used to comment and now my blog is ghost town. I get what people are saying above. I do. But I agree that I shouldn’t feel obligated either. Should I be making more of an effort? YES. I should. I don’t want people to think I don’t care. I DO. I’ve realized I don’t have to comment on every single post someone writes. Like you said, I want it to be meaningful. If I have to sit and try and come up with something to say, then I don’t need to be saying it.

    I do want to make more of an effort. Not because I feel obligated, but because I want to. That might mean a comment every couple of weeks, but that way I can show I do care, because sometimes it’s nice to have the validation.
    Jessica@Lovin’ Los Libros recently posted…Stacking the Shelves #137+Weekly Wrap-UpMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      It IS a divided topic. I think it’s one thing if you want to take the time and return all the comments vs feeling obligated to because that person will stop visiting you. I just feel like we should read the blogs we want to – and follow and comment on what we want to, over doing it for “repayment”

  13. Jackie

    The fact that there had to be a “call to action” to get people to comment on other blogs was kind of odd to me; it could mean so many things. Does it mean that other bloggers do not find commenting as satisfying as me and the other bloggers that comment often? Does it mean that we really do have lives outside the blogosphere (because lets face it, this niche seems to be dominated by college-aged kids and young, working adults [who *gasp* sometimes have children])? Does it mean that they think I’m not worth their time because my blog isn’t as popular as theirs? Or worst of all…does it mean that our content is not as good as it used to be at drumming up discussion and excitement? I get especially paranoid that it is the latter; I don’t want people to feel obligated to comment on my blog. If that’s the only reason why they are stopping by to say “hi”, that means I’m not doing my job as a blogger well.

    I definitely don’t stop commenting on a blog if they don’t comment back on mine or respond to my comment at their site, although I do feel a better connection to blogs/bloggers if they respond to my comments one way or another. And I don’t think it should be a requirement for everyone to comment back all the time. I know how much work it is (on top of blogging, on top of life). So, I’m especially grateful when they do. As for the bloggers that never comment back EVER…I’m not sure what their goal in blogging is. To me, it’s all about communication, exchanging ideas, sharing common interests, which we definitely do when we hit publish on polished posts, but commenting is just another extension of that as well.
    Jackie recently posted…A Zombie Crime Thriller in Belgium? Yes, Please! | Styx by Bavo DhoogeMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      Yes, I feel a better connection as well, and most of them I talk to outside of comments. But again, the fact that so many admit to not comment because it’s not return is just troubling to me. It’s rude. LOL

      I mentioned this in another comment, but we should be able to comment on the blogs, posts whatever that we want to – and not stop reading because they don’t return as often. This is a tit for tat community and it’s sad.

  14. Nereyda @Nick & Nereyda's Infinite Booklist

    I have a post on commenting coming up next year so I hope you don’t think it’s a response to this post…
    I have so many thoughts on commenting… I don’t like empty comments or the fact that some bloggers only comment on your blog if you comment on theirs first. It’s shitty. But I also don’t like when bloggers completely disregard you, I mean no replies to your comments ever OR comments on your blog EVER! I don’t give a fuck how popular your blog is, it’s just rude…
    I can also tell who comments just to get a comment back BUT I think we’ve been lucky to have loyal followers that still comment despite the fact that I haven’t checked my feed since before Thanksgiving. I still reply on comments on my blog, but this is the first time I’m actually getting around to leaving comments on any blogs in weeks and I’m thankful people haven’t given up on me just cause I’ve been busy.
    That’s the short way to put it anyway 🙂
    Nereyda @Nick & Nereyda’s Infinite Booklist recently posted…Reviews: The Trouble With Love & After the Kiss by Lauren LayneMy Profile

    1. tonyalee

      No – I wouldn’t think you’d post it based on this one. Many disagree with me haha

      I don’t think it’s OKAY to ignore comments – like you said it’s rude. I’m all for replying to comments. But it’s obvious to me when people stop because you can’t make it to their blog. I also think it’s rude to just stop reading a blog because they can’t or don’t, “return the favor” as often. Comment because you want to. Comment because you have something to say. But that’s just me. Again, I blog for readers not other bloggers. And it’s just a small world that most readers are bloggers lol

  15. Tiffany @ I Was Angelized_1st

    I don’t want to comment on someone’s blog if I have nothing to say, but because I feel obligated. I think it comes across in the reply, and they won’t be receptive to you. However, I do try to acknowledge people who comment on my posts so they know I saw them. If not, I at least visit their site and comment or like theirs. Not always, because see above, but usually. I think if you straight up repeatedly ignoring people then they’ll feel slighted.
    Tiffany @ I Was Angelized_1st recently posted…Book Review: The Catch (Vanessa Michael Munroe Series) by Taylor StevensMy Profile

  16. Blaise

    I agree so much with pretty much everything you’ve said here. Commenting is a great way to become aware of cool blogs you haven’t heard of before, but the obligation is such a pain that it becomes a chore instead of a joy, and that’s not what this should be. In my opinion, blogging should be positive.

  17. Genesis @ Latte Nights Reviews

    I’m currently in class and totally supposed to focused on working with Photoshop, not commenting but shhh. The tit for tat section I AGREE! I made a post…who knows when, about my delay in commenting on blogs or even replying. I take a while (a week) in commenting in replying because yes, I do have a life! It’s so shocking to some.

    I do visit blogs I love regularly but sometimes I don’t have the time to reply (as I said, I’m in class lol) and it’s hard because I feel bad I’m not going back and replying/commenting (professor is lookingat me oops).

    I love having conversations on comments! It’s happened to me a few times and man, I enjoy it so much. I get so excited!

    I’m cutting this short because yeah I’m getting the stink eye. Anyway, amazing post! I finally feel like I’m not alone.
    Genesis @ Latte Nights Reviews recently posted…Monthly Wrap-Up ~ February 2016My Profile

    1. tonyalee

      Oh no! I hope you didn’t get in trouble!!

      I feel like it’s important for us as blogger TO comment to build relationships, but I hate feeling obligated to and I hate that people stop visiting because I don’t always comment back, ya know?

  18. Ksenia @ Something Delicate

    Hi, Tonyalee! I’m a new follower, and I was pleasantly surprised when I went to check out you GR profile and found out that you actually follow me.

    The topic of comments is flying around in bookish blogosphere recently. Thanks for you honest post. I love to get comments on my blog, but I value genuine comments. I don’t like tit for tat thing too. Though I admit that it’s discouraging when I visit and comment on a blog regularly and its’ owner doesn’t acknowledge me at all. I try to respond to comments on my blog, though sometimes real life gets into the way. I also visit blogs, but I comment on post that I find interesting.
    Ksenia @ Something Delicate recently posted…Audiobook review: All Lined Up (Rusk University #1) by Cora CarmackMy Profile

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