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Let’s Talk: Blogger to Blogger | Fitting In

» 5 June, 2015 » Blogger to Blogger » 56 comments

 

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Let’s Talk: Blogger to Blogger is a discussion feature that is aimed and dedicated to bloggers. In which we discuss and debate topics from around the blogging community and inspire others.

For a full list of topics, visit the archive. If you have a topic for discussion let me know!

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I have been drafting this post for about a month now, debating for what feels like forever if I want to post this. It’s not an “attention-seeking” post and I hate when we have confessions and talk about certain things and they come off that way. I want to share why I feel like fitting in is hard to do. For me.

Although many of us have found our niche, there are times when I find it REALLY hard to spark conversations with other bloggers, or talk about certain books and even relate because I am SO different.

One of the things I see the most of is the swooning. I don’t hardly EVER swoon. I don’t read romance novels to find my next “book boyfriend” or to read about all the sex. I read them because I love a good love story. So when I see ALL THE FEELS and ALL THE SWOONS? It’s not a conversation I can just jump into and often one I back out of. It does’t really persuade me to pick up a book, either. A swoony guy isn’t a SELLER. Yes, I have mentioned before that I have ALL THE FEELS; since generally, this happens with EMOTIONAL BOOKS and have even mentioned “swoons” – which would speak a lot about the character, the writing and author if I did – but it’s just not ME.

Bloggers and readers a like bond over their love of Book Boyfriends. I don’t do this either. Since I read a lot of YA it’s just weird since I am almost 30 – but also because I don’t want to be stuck in a fantasy land with a fictional person. There are often times when certain personality traits are glamorized and it’s not healthy, IMO. Not that there is anything against others that do this – often times it’s hilarious to watch – but it’s not ME.

All the flailing. Maybe it’s because I am pretty freaking jaded – but it takes a lot to get me wickedly excited and flailing over something. It’s not that I am a downer, per se, because I do get excited, lol. But not to where I am OH.EM.GEEING about a book coming up and flailing over the cover and freaking out so much and claiming I can’t breathe or crying because someone else received an ARC and I didn’t. Some times, it comes off creepy and extreme and I cannot get on that level of excitement. It’s just not ME.

Author relationships. I hardly ever talk to authors, save for those minimal tweets, I do not tweet them my reviews (unless it’s a tour or I am asked to for promo reasons, or the their books are on sale) and I sure as heck don’t flail at them or ASK them for anything. Many believe that the author/blogger relationship is a big deal, and in sense, I agree. It’s not like there should be a line drawn in the sand with bloggers over here and authors over there. But I feel like there IS a line and those lines get blurred – and crossed often.

I do have relationships with a few authors, but I don’t often review their work anymore. I will do a promo post, however. These are my friends. Not my business associates. And I personally feel that if that relationship gets too close… well.

Social Media. I am not very active on social media unless it’s a) the weekend or, b) I sneak on when I should be working. That’s because with the time I spend reading, blogging and hello, work and time spent with my family, it’s not a top priority for me. So when I do have some time, I feel weird just jumping in because, I am not really active. I also wonder, if I have lost a following due to my lack of presence.

I have learned over the past few years (like, 5) that my mouth often gets me in trouble. It’s hard for my humor and sarcasm to come across via internet so sometimes, it feels like I can’t BE MYSELF. Yes, I could say I am being sarcastic, but even my friends sometimes ask if I am serious or not. A lot of the time, when I do have something I want to add to a conversation, I don’t. This goes along with drama too – I am not usually privy to the nitty gritty, and I am pro at playing devil’s advocate. No one wants to hear the “other side of the story” so, again, why bother?

I also feel like there is always a… bandwagon that everyone seems to want to jump on – or feels they NEED to jump on, in order to BE SEEN or BE HEARD. It doesn’t feel genuine and I can’t do that. I am often one of unpopular opinion – and it’s hard to find my footing, because I feel so.. out-of-place, all the time.

Let’s Talk

  • Do you ever feel like you don’t “FIT IN?”
  • Have you struggled with this at all since starting your blog?
  • What, if anything, has kept you from “fitting in”?

Tonyalee is an avid reader, gym junkie, coffee addicted workaholic and blogger. Be sure to follow on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram for random shenanigans.


56 responses to “Let’s Talk: Blogger to Blogger | Fitting In

  1. Katheryn @ Perks of a book nerd

    I know what you mean. Though I am privy to the odd fangirling over certain books, I don’t do it as much as I used to. I generally don’t feel like I fit in and I often want to talk to other bloggers but I feel like they’re a higher status than I am so they wouldn’t be interested. Sometimes I even do tweet them and they don’t reply. Which considering I can often seen them tweeting others at the same time, is rude. It doesn’t help that I have low self-esteem and I get embarrassed and awkward easily so when I get ignored , I think it’s because I’m not cool enough or something. When really it’s because, 9 times out of 10, they’re just busy or being rude on purpose. Lol.

    • Michelle @ Pink Polka Dot Books

      Katheryn…. don’t ever feel like you are of a lower status than another blogger!! I promise you that you are not. Sometimes people start getting full of themselves because of their contacts int he publishing industry and whatever other reasons, but I promise you, their blog is no better than yours and they aren’t doing anything to be deserving of feeling better than anybody. I feel so bad that you felt that way 🙁
      Michelle @ Pink Polka Dot Books recently posted…New YA Books Coming Out Week of 5/31My Profile

    • tonyalee

      Aw, if someone doesn’t reply to you, then they aren’t worth your time! You ARE cool enough, and if they can’t see that, then that’s their loss! Tweet me ANYTIME.

      I think that would also depend on your definition of fangirling. I have gotten excited for a book, but not to the levels that I Personally see.

    • Katie @ Doing Dewey

      I always reply to tweets and think it’s crazy for some bloggers to think they’re higher status than others! I’m sure some people who use twitter more actively than I do really can’t reply to every message though. Feel free to tweet me anytime 🙂
      Katie @ Doing Dewey recently posted…Review: A Deadly WanderingMy Profile

  2. Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

    This is funny because, just today, I posted a discussion about staying true to myself in my blogging as well, but from a completely different perspective (having to do with my faith). Sometimes being ourselves can be difficult in any situation, but especially when you feel like the odd man out. Honestly, I’m not much of a flailer when it comes to the romance in books either, so I’m right with you there. And I feel plain awkward on Twitter (I think you’re one of the few people I just jump in an talk to on a semi-regular basis!). We need LOTS of different people and perspectives in book blogging, though, right? There is no right or wrong here. But I totally get where you’re coming from – sometimes it’s hard not to feel like you just want to go with the flow and do what everyone else is doing (even when we know we shouldn’t want to feel that way!).

    • tonyalee

      I had just commented on it when you commented on this post! HAHA

      No, there is no right or wrong, and i am glad that I am not alone in feeling this way. (that sounds awful, but) I try NOT to go with the flow a lot, because a lot of the time, I don’t feel true to myself.

  3. Michelle @ Pink Polka Dot Books

    Everything you just said: YES!! I’ve been blogging for 3 years and I hardly ever feel like I “fit in”. I feel like I don’t translate well over the internet either. I’m not super happy or fangirly. I don’t spend my life on Twitter. I don’t have time. I also don’t know how to be “internet friends”. If I haven’t met you IRL, then I don’t REALLY feel like I know you, you know? Also, I don’t swoon that much either. I’m pretty jaded and I don’t like any romances that are overly ick. I’m glad you posted this!!
    Michelle @ Pink Polka Dot Books recently posted…New YA Books Coming Out Week of 5/31My Profile

    • tonyalee

      I don’t think many of us translate well over the internet. even those close to me can’t tell what my level of sarcasm is haha

      And yeah, I know what you mean. I have close friends though that I haven’t met, and I wouldn’t change that for the world. But it’s hard to connect on that level.

      Most romances now-a-days are really ick. I hate how people focus on the male lead, when it’s them together that is supposed to make the book.

  4. Jeann @ Happy Indulgence

    Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts on this Lily! I actually don’t do the whole book boyfriend thing, because being in my late 20’s I honestly feel like a lot of these YA guys are too young lol. But I do flail sometimes and everything because it’s fun 😀 I’m still really sarcastic online though, because that’s how I am in real life, but as long as it isn’t directed at anyone I don’t see the harm. At the end of the day, we just have to be ourselves and what we’re comfortable with I guess.
    Jeann @ Happy Indulgence recently posted…Chatterbox: A Book Hoarders MentalityMy Profile

    • tonyalee

      LOL yes, the YA guys are too young! It also seems like a lot of the males that are “swooned” over are all the same!!

      I don’t flail – but I have no issues with people that do. It’s awesome seeing everyone so excited and I guess people just display it in different ways. It’s not fun for me, because it’s not WHO I am. ya know?

  5. Ella

    I feel like you just read my thoughts and then wrote them in your post. LOL.

    I’m not one for “book boyfriends”. While there have been a few characters that I’ve been like “Oh, hello,” about but for the most part I don’t get excited over the characters. And that may be because I end up comparing all the men in books to my husband who just happens to be pretty fantastic. And I have a few authors that I am friendly with but I only got crazy fan-girlish about one and I did it in private so that there were no witnesses. I’m still fairly new to the book blogging world so I’m still finding my place, I guess. But you’re not alone on feeling like you do not “fit in”!
    Ella recently posted…REVIEW: Playing With Matches – Lee StraussMy Profile

    • tonyalee

      LOL That is awesome that you feel the same way! Great minds, right?

      Yes, there is a difference between, “oh hey, well aren’t you charming” or liking the character, verses “OMG THIS IS MY NEXT BOOK BOYFRIEND” I just can’t do it.

  6. Elizabeth Bogardus

    Thanks for this awesome post; I thought I was the only one! I don’t swoon, fangirl, or have book boyfriends either. I’m just not a big enthusiaster (my own word). I could care less if I have a signed book. I’d actually rather not because then I’d feel guilty donating it! When I attended the Shaw Cassidy concert at age 12 I didn’t understand all the screaming girls then, either.
    Elizabeth Bogardus recently posted…Friday Blurbs: Sweet ForgivenessMy Profile

  7. Lola

    I can relate to a lot of these things and I think the reason we feel left out might be because those who aren’t as vocal or swoon or get excited won’t get heard as much or loudly, so it feels like there are less people like you. I actually wnated to do a post about the whole bookboyfriend topic, I have a real boyfriend and I don’t have book boyfriends. I don’t really get all the swooning, for me a romance is about the couple, their relationship and how they fit together. If I feel the romance between the two of them, that’s what matters. I have favourite couples instead of book boyfriends.

    Concerning the author contact, I often feel awkward with the more popular or famous authors or like I am annoying them as they don’t have time to read my tweets, but I do often include their hashtag if I can. At least the author can see my review if they want. I have a few authors I know pretty well though. Mostly due to them being awesome and interacting with their readers. A few authors I have gotten to know well because I toured their books, it’s a lot e-mailing back and forth and you get to know each other as well. I do feel like I have less conenctions with publishers and publicists as most review copies I receive are form indie authors and I don’t request ARC’s.

    I am excited about books and love them, but sometimes I feel like how I express myself is more subdued compared to others, but that’s just how I am. I am excited for books, but then once I have them they probably stand on the shelves for months before I get around to reading them. There area few authors who I consider my favourite authors and for their books I can get pretty excited, but still different than most I see online.

    Great topic and I think it’s good to express these things. And I think being yourself is important, but that does mean that it feels like we don’t fit it sometimes.
    Lola recently posted…Lola’s Kitchen: Sugar Cookies RecipeMy Profile

    • tonyalee

      Yes, I agree with you 100%. I know a few people that are like me (us) and don’t go all out when it comes to releases or book boyfriends, but I am surprised with the amount of people that don’t. Probably because we are quiet! LOL

      I think I will be writing one about book boyfriends too, but haven’t really be able to come up with a good one, because I don’t DO them. So, I don’t get it at all. But yes, romance novels are for the relationship, not the “book boyfriends” IMO.

  8. Chrissi Reads

    Great post which has summed up my feelings so much! I quite often feel like I don’t fit in. My life is quite busy at the moment and I feel like I don’t have time to be chatting on twitter. I don’t think I’ve ever flailed over a cover and I certainly don’t have book boyfriends. I’m glad you posted this discussion post. I think many of us bloggers don’t feel like we fit in so you are now alone! <3

    • tonyalee

      Thank you!

      I am realizing that there ARE a lot of us in this boat, and it’s nice to know I am not alone. LOL

  9. Heather

    There’so a lot of stuff especially on YA focused blogs that I just don’t get. I figure it is because I’m old. LOL. People who talk about buying multiple copies of books so all the covers match, for example. I don’t care about covers at all. I also have no interest in meeting authors. I’ve been to one book signing and left without getting the book signed because I just didn’t care. I was going to end up donating the book anyway. I don’t care about the next big release. There is a whole world of backlist that I haven’t read yet.
    Heather recently posted…St. James ParkMy Profile

    • tonyalee

      It could be because we are older – but to be frank, those types of swooning blogs and the OMGing posts, get visits. And it works for them.

      Yes, I don’t care if my books match! I am series buyer though, so I will do that. lol

  10. Roberta R.

    I really liked your post. We are much alike in all the things you mentioned, but even if we weren’t, I’d think it’s perfectly fine not to fangirl or have book boyfriends or think authors are gods. I mean, it’s not like they’re necessary requirements for book lovers :). I am pretty past the age when fangirling is acceptable, but even if I were 15, I don’t think I’d react that way, because that’s not how I am. Like you, I do get excited for things, and I may even use the verb “fangirl” in a review out of fun and self-irony , but my approach to books is more reflective – albeit not less intense. Like you, I don’t read books for the sex (to be honest, reading about sex makes me uncomfortable). Like you, I have authors I am close to – one in particular – but I’ve never tried to force our relationship to the next level. Even when joking and chatting with them, I always try to stay professional and not to cross some borders. I want to be able to go on reviewing their books, because they’re worth it – and besides, it’s not like we really know each other, so the word “friend” would be inappropriate. As for social media, I’m not shy, and I do like to chat people up on Twitter…I’ve met a bunch of awesome people so far, or at least decent enough that they recognize my presence LOL…but even then, I reserve my worst jokes for my closest friends ;). If all that means I don’t fit in, so be it – but believe me, there’s a bookish clique for every kind of reader!
    Also, I believe that often the whole fangirling/swooning/etc. stuff is like a roleplay, or the bandwagon thing you mentioned yourself. It’s like those young girls that decide to wear the same colour the next day at school. It’s perfectly fine, but it isn’t like everyone needs to conform to that, and it isn’t like we should feel out of place because of not doing the same. We just need to find other people like us and do what we want in their company…;)
    Roberta R. recently posted……In Which Life Gets in the WayMy Profile

    • tonyalee

      No – I don’t think they are requirements and I know it’s okay that I don’t do those things. It’s just difficult because those individuals have that in common and can unite in the fangirly-ness

      I think it’s difficult to find those that ARE like us. Set aside the fangirling, swoons and book boyfriends, there is a large chunk of people that do similar things outside their “normal” personality to fit in. It may be like role playing, and that’s fine.

  11. Amir @ Not So Literary!

    I’m in my early 30s so I totally understand where you’re coming from! I love a good love story but like you, it does take a whole lot for me too swoon over a hero. I enjoy reading romance and I love an amazing hero but I can never call them a book boyfriend even though I immensely enjoyed these characters. I have no problems with other bloggers who have book boyfriends, it’s just not something I’m interested in. I can definitely be a fangirl, I get excited over a book that’s coming out but at the same time, I don’t go crazy over it on social media, I would rather blog about something I love than tweet about it but that’s just me. Thank your for this very honest discussion! Lovely post!
    Amir @ Not So Literary! recently posted…Great Resources for WordPress Book Bloggers, 2nd EditionMy Profile

    • tonyalee

      I don’t have problems with those that do it either – but it’s not something that I share in common with them, and there are A LOT that do it. So when you see a bunch of it going on, it makes me feel “left out”. I know it sounds weird, because I am not like that so I shouldn’t feel left out LOL it’s weird.

  12. Danielle @ Love at First Page

    As someone who does flail and fangirl and have tons of literary crushes, I still know exactly what you mean. I think struggling to fit in is something we can all relate to. I don’t think I express myself well when it comes to deeper issues or more in depth discussions, so I tend to shy away from those on Twitter. Also, funny conversations. A lot of bloggers are REALLY funny, but I’m not when it comes to Twitter/social media. I’m better in person. For me, I’ve tried not to worry about getting everyone to like me; when I first started blogging I wanted that, and I was on Twitter constantly, but that has definitely cooled down. Sometimes I worry I’ll lose my “presence” if I’m not talking to people constantly, but I don’t want to/have time to ceaselessly chatter.
    Okay, I feel like I’m rambling now. Thank you for sharing this post!
    Danielle @ Love at First Page recently posted…Summer of Series: Mary Weber Interview + Giveaway!My Profile

    • tonyalee

      I think there are different angles to which we could all find that we don’t “FIT IN” with. I went with these because it’s been happening a lot lately, and I didn’t really want to discuss the more… controversial topics.

      There are many people that I feel want everyone to like them, so they are a certain way on social media and/or their blog. Personally, I was NEVER like that and I honestly could care less if someone likes me or not. You can’t please everyone, so that was never an issue for me. The issue is, finding people that have something in common to DISCUSS. There are many people that I like but we don’t have anything to talk about. Does that make sense?

      I don’t have the time for social media, except on the weekends, and I am pretty sure i have lost presence. But overall, that’s okay with me 🙂

  13. Nereyda Gonzalez

    Girl you took the words right out of my mouth! I have been feeling so fucking annoyed lately with some people in the book world. All this begging authors and publishers for arcs on twitter is so off-putting. Not to mention those relationships with bloggers and publicists which just rub me the wrong way. Hey, it’s awesome that you are friends with an author/publicists and hang out with them and shit, but I still feel like there is a professional line that gets crossed. Are they getting books from them because their blog is good/has good stats, or because they are friends with the publicists???
    I suck at the twitter and there are many times when I see a conversation that I want to join in but just feel like a creeper or intruder if I do. I also don’t want to come off like I’m kissing ass… Fabulous post!
    Nereyda Gonzalez recently posted…Waiting On Wednesday (145)My Profile

    • tonyalee

      Yes, the begging authors for books/swag or whatever on twitter is SO unprofessional. AND YES, blogger and publicists/author relationships rub me the wrong way too! I think that happens a lot too – and it’s not fair to others (not me). There is always a line in this business, and I see it crossed A LOT.

      There are times when I worry that I am kissing ass too – but if that is really what others are going to think of me for getting into a conversation, then screw them. For real. LMAO

  14. Jessica@Lovin' Los Libros

    So even though I’m a flailer and I love my book boyfriends, I’m still glad you put up with me. I think it’s ok to be not be like that but I do see where you’re coming from, especially if the majority of people are doing that. You know I feel similarly about social media. There’s too much other stuff going on that I’m really not into it. I will sometimes just because I personally need the human interaction, but mostly I look at it and go back to doing what I was. I agree with what Nereyda said- it’s crazy that people would ask pubs for arcs and the like. It’s ridiculous.

    I think this post sparked some very good comments and conversation. Well done girl.
    Jessica@Lovin’ Los Libros recently posted…Review: Revive by Tracey MartinMy Profile

    • tonyalee

      But it’s not about “putting up with you.” That is something that you do, and are happy doing – and you have found people that do it with you. Simply, I am not one of them. And while that is OKAY, it just sucks sometimes because I don’t care about those types of conversations, especially when a conversation is STEERED that way. And there IS nothing wrong with it – because that’s ME. I am just FINE with how I am and what I am not doing.

      Yes, it bothers me that some ask for books on social media. I shouldn’t care – but it’s one of those situations that it’s just rude and unprofessional, and in a way, affects us that don’t do it too.

  15. Jess @ Curiouser and Curiouser

    Oh wow, you’ve managed to articulate everything I’ve been trying to get across in a half-drafted blog post of my own. I know exactly how you feel.

    I’ve found it very difficult to fit into the book blogging community – though I have met some absolutely gorgeous bloggers who are the loveliest people – because, like you, I’m not an ‘all the feels’ kind of person. (Though I am guilty of using that phrase once or twice, I must admit). I don’t have book boyfriends, really; I tend to fall in love with leading ladies rather than their love interests, and spend my reviews gushing about how amazing these heroines are.

    One of the biggest problems I’ve found as a book blogger is that I just don’t care about the hyped books. I very rarely read YA nowadays, and as so many book bloggers I know mainly read YA it can be difficult to relate. I love how diverse the book blogging community is, and yet it does often feel like everyone’s reading the same thing but I hate to say that because I worry I sound like I’m trying to be a super special snowflake who doesn’t follow the trends on purpose.

    I also sometimes worry that my sense of humour doesn’t come across in my posts, and I just sound… mean. I’m a very sarcastic person by nature, I can’t help it, and I feel like it doesn’t always come across that way.

    Really great post – thanks for putting all of this into words!
    Jess @ Curiouser and Curiouser recently posted…Should Our Books Have Trigger Warnings?My Profile

  16. Jordon

    Interesting post because I am so on the same page as you.

    I love reading, I love writing, I love writing about what I’m reading or book related topics but I do not live in a world where my life is surrounded by books or book ‘boyfriends’ etc. To be honest, I don’t really talk about books to my friends, mainly because none of them read or they do but they don’t read the books I love to read.

    Then there’s the fact that I now don’t just blog about books, I blog about anything and everything I want to because I have so much more to say.

    As for fitting in? Well I’ve only just started up blogging again and I’m already finding it hard to fit in. Here’s hoping for new blogging friends though!
    Jordon recently posted…How do you relax when you’re stressed?My Profile

    • tonyalee

      Yes exactly. I think that we can love something and be passionate about it, without consuming our world.

      That could be why, and I have been angling to move away a little bit from just books, but there would be so much more to it than that! haha Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  17. Wendy @ Book Scents

    While I do most of these things (flail, freak out, fangirl, etc), I know what you mean about fitting in! It’s like trying to find your own niche in the community. I think for me personally, my personality is such that I don’t really… I guess care too much about what people think? So I totally jump into twitter conversations and flail in general but that’s ME. I think what’s important is to just be who you are. I can see how that can be harder to “fit in” but I love you for being sarcastic and for being you!!

    (So yeah I can totally see the creepy side of crushing on YA guys. I’ll think ahh i love him, oh man, he’s 10 years younger… i’ll just IGNORE that fact.) 😉

    The social media is hard because some people seem like they’re constantly on and I get the i don’t want to miss what’s going on! feeling. But I think I’ve gotten better about not having that must be on twitter all the time, mindset. I’m still on a lot, don’t get me wrong, but if I’m not, I don’t freak out about it.

    anyway, I’m so glad I met you and i know that I “fit in” with you all so i’m happy. 🙂
    Wendy @ Book Scents recently posted…Stacking the Shelves (18)My Profile

    • tonyalee

      I think it’s been HARD for me to find my niche (fully) because it’s almost like i don’t “fit in” in any group. That sounds really petty and whiny when I say it out loud – but well, it’s true. I don’t care at all what people think. I don’t think it’s about that really. There is a difference between caring what people do think – and changing how you are so people DO like you. But like I said, I don’t think it’s really about that.

      See, 10 years isn’t a big deal when you hit 25-30. I mean, I would totally date an older guy but when he is 17 and I am 29? I am just like YUCK, I DO NOT CARE THAT YOU ARE A FICTION PERSON! haha

  18. Jen @ YA Romantics

    Love this post and all the great discussion it generated. We’re very similar. I don’t mind at all when other bloggers flail and swoon and fangirl — if it feels authentic to them. It doesn’t to me. And it always is a weird feeling when everyone loves a book and I just don’t see it, but I’ve gotten used to that. I love hearing different opinions!

    I love Twitter sometimes, but there’s also lot of drama there, and I’ve been staying away more. But I will talk to anyone on Twitter. I’ve been finding Goodreads a better place to talk books, and I friend everyone back on there. I haven’t been good at following back on Twitter, but that’s a project I want to tackle over the summer.

    Jen @ YA Romantics

    • tonyalee

      I don’t mind when others do it either, but it’s hard to have conversations with others that you don’t have in common with. Ya know? And it is REALLY awkward when someone is “failing” and you are literally just sitting there like, “Yeah.. great” lol If it feels authentic to them and that’s their personality, then by all means.

      Luckily, I haven’t see much drama lately. Maybe it’s bee quiet?? I am kind of waiting for something to happen so I have some spark for a Drama Discussion Post! hahaha

  19. Candace

    I think that you probably aren’t really as different as you think (especially after reading the comments). I don’t swoon or look for book boyfriends. It’s just not me at all. I don’t often go gaga over a book anymore. Though I do get all the feels just because of the emotional aspects.
    I’m also not so big for social media. On my FB I try to keep active and I share all the tour posts and then try to throw in a few interesting things but I just don’t have TIME for everything. On twitter I tweet a lot because of all the tour posts, etc but I’m not looking at my feed at all. When I have tweeted something out like a question or something I tend to get silence and then I feel like a loser so I don’t bother anymore. I will ask on FB and tend to get some comments (usually).
    Candace recently posted…Blog Tour Review & Giveaway: Citadel of the Sky by Chrysoula TzavelasMy Profile

    • tonyalee

      No – I am finding that I am not alone, which is selfishly nice. I think, like we talked about above, that those that are REALLY excited all the time, or do the book boyfriend thing stands out, because they are more vocal. A lot of us are sitting on the sidelines while a lot of them are talking. Does that make sense??

      I have been trying to be on Facebook more, but it’s so discouraging when posts aren’t see. I like BIT but that doesn’t seem to be helping ME much.

  20. Trish @ Between My Lines

    This post just touched a nerve in me as it is something I feel sometimes too. I am a bit (lot to be honest!) older than lots of bloggers I’m friendly with and this can make a difference. I don’t really do swoons. I love social media but only have time to flick in and out so I’m often out of the loop.

    And always be you! Your honesty and sarcasm is refreshing and I love you for it.
    Trish @ Between My Lines recently posted…Blog Tour: Review & Giveaway for #Crave by Jennifer DawsonMy Profile

  21. Red Iza

    I was beginning to wonder if I was abnormal or simply getting too old, so thanks for that post !
    I don’t like swooning or sugary happy ever afters or little hearts or teddy bears. I usually don’t look for book boyfriends because men in books are mostly stereotypical and just a few stand out from the ordinary. I enjoy a good sex scene, but that only happens when I appreciate a good plot with good characters, so… I speak to authors when they want me to review their books, but I don’t follow them otherwise. And I simply have no time for social media.
    On the other hand, when I write my reviews or post on my blog, I’m myself. It’s my space, if somebody doesn’t like it, well it’s too bad but I won’t change for them. When I comment on other blogs and see that what I might say might not be taken well, I try hard for diplomacy – and hope I succeed ! I choose where I comment and I know the bloggers I follow, so I know I can be at ease with them. But when I’m on GR, or reading some bloggers I don’t usually comment, I feel like I’m an old woman hard to be excited, or squeeing, or jonesing over a book or a hero. It’s almost like I’m having a peek into another dimension ! Or if I like a dirty-talking hot scene, I almost feel like a perv. So well, you can’t please everybody so you’ve got to please yourself 😉
    Red Iza recently posted…The sunday post #50 : new blogging schedule in augustMy Profile

    • tonyalee

      Yes exactly. It’s great to be yourself, and to do what makes you happy. Which is where the “fitting in” comes in. Like I mentioned, those squeeing and OMGing comments get noticed and authors eat that shit up. It’s just a vibe I get that there are some that are not really like, ya know?

      I don’t comment much on Goodreads because a lot of my friends there are blogs i follow. My comments get taken out of context a lot, and I would not like any Goodreads drama LOL

  22. Katie @ Doing Dewey

    I’m completely with you on all the swooning! I just don’t get swooning over fictional characters. For me, this isn’t a problem as much because I’ve been focusing on historical fiction, literary fiction, and nonfiction, which means I’m following mostly bloggers who read in those categories. Books in these categories are far less likely to be swooned over than books that are YA or romance or both! But even within these genres, I definitely feel like their are other bloggers who are better at conveying huge amounts of excitement about books they loved.

    I’m not sure this is a good solution to the sarcasm problem, but I seriously overdo emoticons in hopes of conveying my intent when I say something online. I also am not the best at social media. I enjoy it, but being brave enough to just jump in on twitter conversations does not come naturally to me.

    Based on my reaction to this post and many other comments, I think it’s at least fair to say that you’re not alone 🙂
    Katie @ Doing Dewey recently posted…Review: A Deadly WanderingMy Profile

    • tonyalee

      I have seen some mention swooning in Historical Fiction, and to be completely honest, that would be one genre I swoon the least! lol (even though I love it)

      I try and use the little icons, or similes or something to convey my emotions but it can be hard.

  23. Wren

    Yeah. This post just about sums up everything in my blogging life. I have a dark and dry sense of humor. My jokes can be childish and perverted.
    I fit in in real life because my friends get me.
    I’m not sure it translate through the web, though.
    I’m not sure how I’ll find my niche.
    I’m a new blogger, and I don’t think I’ll find my place. I hope I do.

    Thank you for this post.
    Wren recently posted…Review: ‘Shadow Kiss’ by Richelle MeadMy Profile

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